Que sera, sera

The highlights of the last 3 months of my life are that the orthopedics in Kuala Lumpur put a set of metal implants in my left elbow, then the orthopedics in Sofia, Bulgaria disagree, open the arm, and replaced the parts they could with different ones. I was taken off track for some time waiting to heal, but then I realized that it is all in the head. You can't wait for something to happen in order to continue living. Life is composed from all the circumstances that we need to go through. There are not only sunny days, there is rain, hail, wind, storm - have to live them all.

Since there is no clarity as of when my health will be back to normal I will have to stop thinking what I can't do and start enjoying what I can. My medical saga moved to Vienna. I am posting this before I have met the next orthopedic surgeon who will evaluate the current condition of my arm and eventually take me under his knife for further mending. The wound from the last operation didn't close (3 months now), the elbow has very little flexion (5-10°) and no extension what so ever.

Even if I can't call myself a real bear and go into the wild, I can still go as a tourist - something I always looked down at, but hey, I settle to enjoy the things I can still do. Not to worry, not to be afraid, not to try to be what I was, enough selfpitty. It will all come back on its own terms. Not because of some emotions. Relax. Free myself. Freeing space invites new things to come into my life.